There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so - Shakespeare
When you behave automatically or unconsciously without awareness to your thoughts, it can have a huge effect on you and others. Many of us create mental habits and these can trigger unhelpful behaviours and thinking distortions such as perfection seeking, blaming or judging others and jumping to conclusions to name a few. To help with this, you need to develop your cognitive flexibility. Reflection is key as it will help you to see your thoughts as just thoughts therefore limiting their impact on you and others.
As Timothy Gallwey said “There is always an inner game being played in your mind no matter what outer game you are playing. How aware you are of this game can be the difference between success and failure”